The Mom

I could give you a million reasons why I love my mother, but the most evident of them all was waiting for me in my e-mail this morning.

For whatever reason, my ex had been on mind. This is not always delightful, but most times is cathartic. When we began, we were friends. Amazing friends. He also held my hand through a tremendous amount of healing. I will always have respect for him for that, it could not have been easy sometimes. So, in the beginning there was a great love. We kept that for awhile, luckier than most. What I did not know at the time was that he was so incredibly patient and able to deal with these things because he had a slight heroin addiction. Ah. That explains it. After this came to light and we went through him getting clean, our relationship went very noticeably downhill and he became someone who I cannot even begin to comprehend. Some people just are not nice when sober. Simply put, things were not good and our end was disastrous, messy and involved a lovely hospital stay for me. So, when I say that he has been on my mind I generally mean the really good guy from before, not the crazed drug addled lunatic.

I understand that when my mother hears me say, 'I've been thinking about X. I don't know why', she must want to hurt someone, something, somewhere. It's a mother's instinct. But she handles these things with grace and humor and her response to my comment was this.

"You're thinking of X?? Why? You in the mood for some more emotional/mental/physical abuse and general knocking around? I can hire someone for that....."

You know that you are truly loved when your mother is willing to hire someone to beat you down in a dark alley to give you a reminder.